Thank you and Good bye!

It's only hours that we are counting until we finally put an end to this chapter of the story of our life, and the new beginning is waiting in the next door, with a bright light shining to us. We may all preparing our resolutions for the next year, preparing for some changes we will be making in our life soon, but are we ready and prepared to leave this year's events that happened to us? Maybe some of us have a bad experience and some have a good one, but either what you experienced, I'm sure, we are thankful for all that happened to us especially this year,

The best way to to say good bye to this year, is to say thank you for all what happened, especially the blessings that God has given to us, the food we ate that gives us energy to stay a day full of hopes, problems that are being solve, the test of God to us that we passed that we made us stronger and for the people that became part of our lives, especially to those who stayed.

First of all, I want to thank God, for answering my prayers, making my wait worth it, converting pains to smile and happiness, also for all what he had given to me and to my family, for giving me blessings more than I deserved, thank you God for this year, hoping for another fruitful new year to us, your guidance, protection and help, Thank you God and I love you so much! :)

For the one person I met this year, well actually it's not us that have met, but our hearts. I want to say thank you. I know you see me always wearing a smile and energetic gestures every time we are together, but I want you to know the reason behind those smile and energy is because of you. With you being in my side, being in my heart, being part of my life, my life expands and became brighter. The year will end but our love for each other, I know, will never be. Thank you for all the experience we had this year, the hugs, holding hands, kisses, hang outs and many more, sometimes we quarrel but I know, it's for us to make our relationship more stronger and I know we don't let the quarrel last a day, we fixed it as soon as possible. You made my year a blast and we know that a new year is coming, let's face and welcome it by giving more love with each other. I love you so much, always and forever, Adrienne :)

Thank you God, Mom, Dad, Sissy, My Friends and Adrienne for completing this year with a smile in my face and heart, I love you all :)

Thank you year 2012 and Good bye! Welcome 2013!!

Unforgettable night, midnight and day

It was unexpected, yet a good experience. Without knowing that that day would be one of the days we will remember. We just hang out to the usual place we used to hang out and when it's already time for her to go to work, she felt she doesn't want to go to. Then I try to tell her to go to her work, but in the end, she decided to let the day pass without attending to office. We hanged out, late at night 'til I decided to just go back home morning on the next day. We hanged out midnight, spend the night 'til morning by walking along Ayala avenue but we ended up going to Global City, have our breakfast at McDonalds and spent some time on a coffee shop nearby. The day was a blast, and for sure, will be remembered.

As I walked that night

It was late Sunday night when I was walking home from Muntinlupa, just came from a band practice, and accompanied my girlfriend at their place. It was fun walking, that I decided to walk than to ride a tricycle, I really do loved doing this.

As I walk during that night, I feel so relaxed, as the music in my earphones plays, my mind was also playing, playing moments of my self with my girlfriend together, during the times when we used to hang out, going to place we don't usually gone, watching movies, deciding where to eat, crazy moments, corny moments, banatan moments, sweet moments and unplanned moments together.

I was like in a music video, walking in the corner of the street with the dim street light opened, watching cars and people that passes by, my hair was waving as the wind blows, I looked at the sky, the moon was so bright and it's a perfect time to reminisce the moments we had together. I missed her, so much, even though we just hanged out a couple of hours ago. I guess, this is what it's like to be, to fell in love so deeply, in one person, whom you want to keep forever, for the rest of your life.

Never thought that I would be like this

It's been five months, since the time I've enter into a relationship, something that I never foreseen I would be in before. 

Sometimes, the things that we don't expect to happen, happens, sometimes, a kind of person that we don't expect we are going to be, are the ones we are becoming and be keeping for the rest of our life. I've never expected that love would conquer me, as I know to my self that I'm not really like this, I was actually an introvert, loner, snob and self centered person. But things have changed, and I started to care, not for someone whose family or friend related, but to a stranger, once a stranger and nothing to care about, but now became a huge part of my life, the one who would complete me and my dreams in the future.

Feeling depressed when she's not around, missing her badly when not seeing her for a couple of days, day dreaming of her during spare time and thinking of her, the moment I woke up until I sleep at night. Taking care of her would be the best job I've been, even though no salary is being paid to me, as long she'll appreciate it and pay me back with love. It really feels good to have someone you care for, someone you would care for the entire of your life, someone you've dedicated your life for.

We may have some twists in our relationship, but that would never ever change my feelings or would make me tired of loving and taking care of her. As I've said to my self and to God that I would do anything for her, just to make her okay and happy.

Thinking of future is not really my trait at all, I mean thinking of my self, playing and running with my children while my wife is watching and smiling back at us. This is the first time that this happened to me, and I'll make sure that this would not remain as a thought only, someday, this thought of mine would come to reality and the things that I've been always dreaming now will eventually experience by me and her in the future.

Patience is a virtue. . .

Good things comes to those whose willing to wait. . .

Waiting would be easier, because I know, we're going to work on these together, and in the end, the wait will be worth it. . .

Where it all started

Every day, every night, every time

Every day, every night, every time, I always ask God to protect you, to get you away from all evil and harm. I always asked God to give you strength so you can carry and hold on, on the situation you're experiencing right now, that someday it will fade and everything will become okay. I know God has plans for everyone, for me, my family and for you, we just need to patiently wait and have faith in him. I say to God that I would help him in giving you strength, because this is the least I could do for now. Together, we'll patiently wait for that day to come that you can already get out the to that situation, together, we'll believe in him for that time to come. 

You're a very important person to me, that I want you to be okay every time.

Someday

To tell the truth, right now, all I'm wishing and the biggest goal in my life is to get you out the life you're experiencing right now. Someday, I will be able to get you out on the situation you're currently on, where you can no longer experience heavy arguments, extreme breaking down, and feeling giving up on everything. I will make sure that someday, we'll live together peacefully, where we can enjoy our time, together with our future family. Someday, we'll be living in a place that are free from negative things you're experiencing right now. I will make sure that, I'll be strong for you, for us, to be your strength during the downs of your life. Someday, I would go back to this page again and probably reading this blog post again and will whisper in my self, " At last, I did it."

Never I will. . .

I am just concern about you, everything that can harm you or would be bad for you. I'm doing all my best just to cheer you up, to make you happy, to lift you up when you're breaking down. I would do everything just to make you fine, anything just to make you okay, I'll sacrifice my other personal things, scheduled meetings or hang out just to be with your side. Even I'm not or I cant' make on your side, I make sure that I'm going to make a way to get in touch with you, to make you feel that I'm just here when you needed me, to hug you on a long cold nights, to kiss you when you're breaking down, to hold yo when you feel weak. I'm just right here, doing everything the best I can, just to make you okay. I just want to know and wish that all the things I'm doing is enough, just want to know that my efforts are working, making you feel fine and okay. I'll take care of you, won't abandoned you or give on you, never I will.

To have that someone. . .

It's good to know that you have that someone whom will be there for you, not only during the ups of your life but also the downs. When you're sad there she is trying to cheer you up and when you're stressed and just want to surrender, there she is cheering and lifting you up. It's good to know that there is this someone whom will be there for you no matter what happened and anything will do just to make you okay.

Once a stranger

We were just strangers before, we were once have our own life and path that are taking, until we came to the point that our path crossed with each other. These paths joined together and now we are taking it hand to hand, moving forward to the time we called future.

If I just can. . .

Every time she breaks down, being in a bad mood, having a bad day, or anything that makes her emotion down, I can't help but to worry and end up being sad. It tears a part of my heart every time she feels down.

I'm trying all the best I can do just to cheer her up, but sometimes I'm ending up thinking I'm a no help at all. If could only put her out of the situations that causes of her breaking down, If I could just be always right by her side if she needed me. If I can do more to make her cheer up. If I just have the power to make her okay in an instant when she is breaking down. If I just can. . .

The rest of my life started when I fell in love with you

I never knew that I would be needing something I don't need before, or someone I didn't even think of that would very important and special to me now and in the near future.

I'm just living my simple life before, work, play games, hang out with friends, eat, spend money for useless things and dream childish things. Dreaming of living alone with my dream house, with a gaming/multimedia room and music room. Planned to have business and play games at my dream house. But that was before, until something and someone unexpected came. Something I didn't now I would feel and someone I didn't knew I would take care of.

I just played a game, I just replied a text, I just spent sometime answering a phone call and then after a couple of time, I fall, I fell in love with someone once a stranger to me but now became one of the most important people to me, the one I want to spent the rest of my life with.

From what I remember before, this is not really me, I mean, to really fell in love, I was just like a snob, stone hearted, numb and a loner person before. Yes, I used to fell in love before, but this time it's different, I could feel my heart beating fast before whenever I am with the girl I love, but this time, even though I'm not with her, even just by thinking her, I could feel the love is conquering my whole self and body and ending up smiling.

I really love spending time with her and whenever I'm with her, I could feel so much happiness, I even think that I am the very happy person in the world whenever I'm with her. I wouldn't care where we go, where we hang out, even it's far, as long as I'm with her. There are things that I dream to do with her like, traveling with her, have vacation with her, sleep with her and many more, but of course, to be with her in a place we could say, "Our home." 

From dreaming of living alone before, now dreaming of living with her. Play with her in the game room, play music with her in the music room, spend time with her in our home.

I'm really happy and contended with her, I couldn't ask for more, she may not be my first, she may be my third girlfriend, but I'll make sure she will be my last.

It's you that arrived, It's love that I found and I want you to be my last.. The rest of my life started when I fell in love with you.

Adventure Time!

It's Saturday morning and on this day, we decided that we are going to hang out, but the question is where?

Don't know where to go, we spent some time sitting on a bench in Santana grove and thinking of a place where to hang out, SM southmall, SM Bicutan, Festival Mall, Market Market, Alabang town center? But ended up of going to Festival Mall instead. While hanging out in Festival mall, walking, chatting, do some games playing, her mom called on her phone, and told her that she needs to go to her grand mother's place in Paco Manila, and I decided to accompany her there, and then unexpectedly unplanned, an adventure has begun.

So we took a bus from Alabang to Quirino Hi-way, and from Quirino Hi-way, we took some walk, looking for an ATM do withdraw some cash and after that, she went to her grand mother's place. After that, since we planned earlier to watch a movie, we decided to just watch on Robinson's Manila instead of going back to Festival Mall. We watched Step Up Revolution, I'm not a fan of dancing, but I enjoyed the movie, they are somewhat making some trouble by means of dancing, and it's kinda cool, like what in the movie said, "Sometimes, it's good to break the rule" I don't remember exactly the exact sentence but that's at least the idea.

Then after the movie, we took some walk, chit chatting and etc., then we decided to go back to festival mall so if she already needs to go home, it will be just near to their place. We spent sometimes in Festival mall, had our dinner and grab an opportunity to have our moment with each other before we went home.

Honestly, this is the first time I've done this, having an adventure/city hopping with someone very special to me, well I think I've done this before, but I can't remember, but I know this time, I really enjoyed it and I had a lot of fun spending time with her. If only I could stop the time that day.

I'm not an outgoing person, I usually stay at home most of the time, it's not that I don't like, but I think it's a complete waste of time, but that was me before. Now, already gotten out of my comfort zone and I don't mind whether where will I go as long as I am with her.

Ash and Pikachu

A status that made my day :)

A day full of adventure and sweetness

It's a day full of adventure and sweetness. It was not on the plan, we just want to hang out right after our work and then after, go home and rest. But it doesn't look like it turned out like that because we still don't want to let go of each other yet. 

I was on the meeting and thought that it will be finished by around right after lunch by 12:00 noon or by 1:00 pm, but it was extended up to 2:30 pm, well as for a company meeting, it's normal. But the matter is, there is someone waiting for me, I need to get where my girlfriend was, because she's waiting me there from 11:00pm on wards, a couple of hours of waiting. I feel guilty about it, I say sorry but she said that, it's okay and everything is fine, that she is not mad or something.

So the hang out began. Of course, sharing stories with each other, walk together while talking, teasing each other and when being teased will end up hugging. It was on SM Sucat, but she want to go somewhere else, so we decided to go to Festival Mall instead. Of course, when we get there we still do what we've done on SM, but first we had our merienda-dinner meal. Again, talk, walk, tease and laugh, making every minutes and seconds worth because time is limited and parting time is nearly there.

It's already time to say good bye speeches but an idea was put up. I said that I'm going with her, I'm going to accompany her home, but she didn't let me because she said that it was hassle for me and it's far from my place and so on and so on. But I ask something, if her best friend's place was really near from their home and said let's go and visit her. Excitement was build and without second thought, she said yes and then we went there.

When we got there, her best friend was not yet home. We waited for an hour but still not yet home. We just decided to go where she was, we'll just visit her there. But again, when got there, a guy told that she already left there about a couple of hours ago. We call her best friend and she said that she already got home and decided to just go back at their place. But before we went there, an unexpected thing happened, we are talking about something but I'm facing in the opposite direction but when I'm about to face her, her face was coming close to me, her lips coming close to my lips, and then we kissed, but not for a short time that we usually do.

It looks like nothing happened after, but deep inside me, I was so, well it was an unexplainable feeling but it feels good, honestly. And going back, we went back to her best friend's place and at last she was there. We stayed there for about 30 minutes, do some talking and other things. And after that, it's really need to say good bye.

The day was really worth it, no hours, minutes or even seconds was wasted, my time is really worth it whenever I'm with her. I love being with her, If we can just be together every time but we know that there is always limitation but still we're really happy that even though our schedule was conflict with each other, we are able to give time being together.

Making my heart smile, every time

There are some things that I can't say directly, I'm too shy to say or it's bit too early to say. In my mind, sometimes, I'm having thoughts of spending my life with her, I can't really deny the fact that I used to imagine my self sitting beside her smiling and laughing together on a place called home. I just can't help thinking about these things, being with her today, tomorrow and in the future.

I always hold on to these thoughts, that if we can't be together in present, then there is still future. I understand that we can't be together every time and I'm fine with it. Every time we are spending time together, it's all worth it, not even a single second when we are together are being put into waste, I just love being with her.

She is a very special and important person to me, a friend, a best friend, my lover. I want to be her strength to her weaknesses, the one who will cheer her up when she's down, the one will erase the sadness in her face. Without doing anything, with just thinking about you you are making smile, you made my heart smile, every time.

I should be sleeping but...

I should be sleeping right now, but I just can't sleep. Why? Well the main reason is I'm thinking of a certain person and the times being with her, to cut the story short, I'm reminiscing. I already feel sleepy but I just miss my girlfriend that put me into reminiscing the time I am with her that hinders me from sleeping and the result is here I am, in front on PC doing this blog.

Hey my beloved girlfriend, if you happen to read this post, please don't blame your self for the reason of I can't sleep because of you, I love this feeling and it's okay if this hinders me from sleeping, anyway, I love you so much :)

Am I just overreacting?

Upper back pain together with chest pain plus difficulty in breathing, I really couldn't manage to walk any next steps again but I need to. I was so scared, I really thought of dying, I don't know what to do. When I arrived home, I just greet my parents and went to my room directly, Mom followed me in my room, asking me if I'm okay and what happened. "Mom, my back hurts, it's really hard to breathe, it's hard to stand, please can you give me a bottle of water." From that time, I really don't want to sleep because I think, I'm breathing because in my mind, I'm saying to breath, so if my mind went to sleep, I might couldn't breathe anymore. I don't know if I'm just over reacting or whatever, but I was really scared because, my mind is set to "I'm dying."

I can't explain what I really feel that time, but I was really scared, I don't want to die yet, I don't want to leave my parents, friends and especially my girlfriend. I think this was cause by anxiety and stress and most probably will be back in my rhythm after a couple of days and weeks

As soon as I'm already capable

The more I think that I don't want to stay on this organization anymore is the more I'm being hype on starting my own income generator or shall I say business. I swear that I won't be an employee forever or a manager or team leader who is under a person called boss. I want to be a boss of my own business. It's not that I don't want to work on a certain organization at all, but for a person like me who value life, balance for both work and life is very important to me. Well actually, life is more important to me than work, but how will I live if I will not work, ironic isn't it? But it's a fact. That's why I want to own and start my own business as soon as I can. By having this, I can control my time and have more time on my personal life while less thinking of how will I live or support my needs. Having a business is yes, stressful at first, but later on if it succeeds, you will succeed as well. It's convenient, because while you're having a business you can still find some part time jobs for extra income and that would make you enough bucks to buy not only your needs but also your wants. During college, my course thought me and inspires me to do this thing, with the knowledge I learn from college, I'll need to apply it on this. I'm not planning to have a big business, I don't want to complicate my life on creating big organization, it will give me more money but it will also give me stress, problems, enemy, and will leave me "having no life person," and I don't want that to happen, I just want a right size business that will give me enough funds to support my living in the future.

Random thoughts

There are times that I used to think of going on a journey to learn more and to gain more knowledge on this world. There are some mysteries I want to learn more about, there are questions in my mind that I myself is seeking for an answer. Some things that I never experienced but I want to experience and try out. My mind is sometimes full of questions of mysteries on this world and universe. My mind is so random, I sometimes thought of games, boys, girls, good things, bad things, science, religion, God and many other things, but all of them ended up in one question, how did it begin? Where is the source of all this? The origin? Why and Where? And now I ended up on this conclusion, that there are really things and question that the answer doesn't exist, things that no one knows why and where was originated and would be better to just leave behind and leave as it is, because as I seek more on this things, the more they are going far with me. They are made to confuse us. I'll be just wasting my time if I over think about things like this and might forget that there are other things in life that I should care for and just like I said, it's better to just leave them behind because I know, these thing are here for certain reason, and the reason is not for us to know about.

Biggest turn off

I really don't like girls who drink alcohol more than than their father, smoke cigarettes like there is no tomorrow or speak bad words just like it's already been natural for their everyday conversation. I don't know but sometimes, when I got to have a crush with a girl and suddenly found out that she got the traits I've described above, the crush feeling I feel for her will suddenly, without any second thought fades and end up forgetting about her. It's just like what happened to my latest ex girlfriend, yes I can say that I really love her, but suddenly, those traits above just began to come out, I didn't know that she drinks alcohol that much and she can say bad words that rudely. Beating out my defenseless friend with her sharp tongue, tripping out other people even though she don't know, and being rude with my buddies and mates. I don't know if she's aware of it but those traits were enough reasons for my love to fade. I don't want to sound bitter but I just choose to discuss my past experience as an example for the topic of this post.

At times like this

There are really times when you really miss someone that much that you feel like you're going to explode because of that extreme feeling. Like what's happening right now, I'm extremely missing my girlfriend, yes really that much, superlative isn't? But yes, I wanna see her, hold her tight and never let go. Talk to her, tease her that will end up hugging each other. I want to feel her skin against mine, her warm embrace, hold hands with each other until our hands get sweat.

The feeling when we used to hug each, my head over her forehead and then end up kissing her forehead and will say I love you. There is silence between us, letting our feelings to clamor, expressing it through actions. The stare I give to you with thoughts in mind saying, you are mine, only mine. The happiness I feel when you are beside me, when we are together. The feeling in my heart that even words can't explain when I'm thinking of you. All of these feelings are real, I feel it and it's so right.

By her Handkerchief

By just holding her handkerchief with me, I can already feel her presence. By just looking at her photos my heart is rejoicing. With just simple things from her, I can already feel her. Well it's just mean that I really love her, I really can't deny my feeling for her and there's no way for me to deny it, I love her and I loved loving her. 

I know this is too early to say this but I think and I feel that I really love her so much, that much. I love her unconditionally, I love her for no reason, I accept her as she is and I'm really happy being with her. I miss her everyday, most of the time she is on my mind, day dreaming of being with her when we're not together. Reminiscing the time when we used to hang out, hug and kiss each other.

I can feel it, her presence

I know this is crazy but every time I'm seeing this handkerchief and smells the perfume on it, I can feel the presence of its owner, my girlfriend. Every time I hold it, It feels like I'm also holding her hands and when I sleep, I sleep with it by my side, it gives me a comfortable feeling, just like when we're together.

Once a reality, now a memories

I can't help thinking of you, I can't help this gloomy feeling for missing you, I really miss you so badly. I wish I could spend time with you even just for a day. I just want to stare at you and see the relaxing expression of your face and the smile you wear when we are together. 

I miss your gesture, your laughter and the way how you tell me stories. I miss it when I used to tease you and ended up saying "joke lang" then after that, will hug you. I miss those moments when you are pinching my cheek and used to steal a kiss in my cheek. I miss the the moments when I'm hugging you and eventually will kiss your forehead. I miss holding your soft warm hands. I miss it when you used to say, "I love you." I miss the moment when I first kissed you in your lips. I miss the time when we are together.

Those days, those nostalgic days, once a reality now became a memories. Memories that I used to keep, memories I'm holding and used to think of when we're not together. It feels so right, but still so sad, I know we can't be together for now, but no matter what happened, we will find a time to make those memories became reality once again.

Staring on a blank wall but I only see you,
With this lonely time, all I want is to be with you

Missing you is all in my mind
Finding that our hearts are intertwined

I know I can't be with you tonight
But I'll wait for the time that I can hold you tight

Hug me, please stay on my side
It's our feeling that we can't hide

I'll kiss you baby, please don't cry
Don't worry because I won't say good bye

Look into my eyes and say you love me
Come closer to me, and stay with me baby


Random thought is coming out of my mind and being converted into this words, because I'm missing someone.


Hey you!! Yes you, Patricia Adrienne! I know you'll able read this soon, I made this for you, I hope you'll like it. Take care always, God bless! I love you :)

My chucks and her heels

Irrelevant Anger

Am I a fool, weak minded person, an idiot or whatever? Why do I keep on browsing and staring on their photos together, even though I know staring with those photos will just end me up being angry, hurt or feel some kind of strong feeling that I wanna go in rage. 

I know this is a selfish thinking, but how I wish that she never met that boy before, her experience with him is very hurtful. Saying that he loves her but ended up hurting her and abandoning her when they are in times of difficulties and problems, seeing her crying but somewhat can still have fun. That's not an act of a real man nor even an act of a real person.

Am I angry with him? Somehow yes! I know there's no point being angry with that person, but I don't know, he is getting into my nerves. I think it's because she is the ex-boyfriend of my girlfriend, and the fact that I really don't like what he have done to her on their previous relationship.

NAAAH, I want to do a table flip!

Unexpected

May 18, 2012, that night, an unexpected thing happened, it was the time when it's almost dismissal time, no expected schedule with anybody, but suddenly I received a text message, someone is asking if I could hang out with her, and I immediately replied it yes. Well, without having any second thought, I agreed to meet up and hang out with her the fact that I love being with her. It was hanging out time, at first we we're just teasing each other, sharing some stories and etc., until a topic was opened and made the ambience very gloomy, some tears fell, smile turned into frown, there's a moment of silence.

We don't know what we are into, I love her, she loves me but we are not into any relationship, we are just friend. Friends that are hugging, holding hands with each other, we are confused. But that serious topic suddenly suddenly fade when some jokes and laughter began to come out, but with that jokes, as far as I remember, I said a word "Tayo na!" which I mean basically, "Ikaw na, Ako na," made some thing about what we have changed, the moment I said that word "tayo na," she began to ask me, "tayo na?" Again there's a moment of silence, the moment was so awkward, my heart is beating so fast, I can't even say a single word, a few minutes have passed, she asked me again and I asked her back, we do the asking for about four times, then we asked it again as for the last time, I asked first, "tayo na ba, okay lang ba sayo?" she answered yes and asked me, "tayo na ba, okay lang din ba sayo?" and I answered yes.

Unexpectedly, she became my girlfriend and I become her boyfriend and that moment, we hug each other, now I can really say she's mine and I am hers. We leave the mall while we're holding hands with each other with of course a smile on our face.

It's funny isn't it? On how we became boyfriend and girlfriend? It was unexpected but yet, we are happy.

The sad truth

We are under in the same feeling, we are both in love. We are just like the others who are into relationship, we  are going out and dating, we held hands, we hugged each others, we used stare with each others and ended up smiling, I feel her love, she feel mine too, she say I love you and it gives me a happy feeling, but I just realized that it hurts knowing that you're not mine nor I'm yours after all.

I don't care if we are not in any relationship, but I'm just afraid that time might come that someone will take you away from me. The fact that I don't have the rights to say that you are only mine.

Best Buddies and Nature

It was a different experience especially when you are with your "tropa." We had a lot of fun during our outing last Saturday, even though there are some things that did not went according to our plan, still we are able to push through our vacation. Even just we are on the way to Bataan, even just on the car, it was a lot of fun and our day was already made especially when we are doing the "tablahan" and "banatan" things.

We arrived at the resort at around 12:00 noon, we get a room first, had our lunch and have some rest and after, it's beach time. It was a long time ago when I got the swim on a beach. The water was clear and of course, it's salty and even hurt my nose and ears when I try dive my head on the water. We spend the whole afternoon in the water, we swim, float, play with water, play with sand and etc.

During the night, we took some rest but we got bored and started to walk around the beach, then we came to this idea to play "patintero." And then began to play patintero, well of course in the sand, it's hard to move and it's very tiring but we had a lot of fun. After we played, we took our good night sleep and rested.

Then the last day has come, and during morning, we just sleep and took some rest, we have a scheduled activity though but we did not pursue it because the fact that we are very tired. Before we take our step outside the beach and finally say good bye, we do some picture taking, walking around the resort and do some bonding.

And then we finally say good bye, but this is not yet the end and we still have one more activity to do and it is our journey to Mt. Samat, this is not in the plan it was just a popped up idea while we are on the resort. We arrived at Mt. Samat at around 2:00pm, it was very hot out there but we didn't notice it because the scenery is so relaxing and we almost had seen the low lands covered with fogs. We climbed at the summit of the mountain, well we did not literally climbed like what the mountain climbers do but there is a man made stairs there way up to the peak where the Shine of valor memorial cross is located. When we arrived at the summit, we saw the tall and big cross, we felt the clean air flowing in our skin, it is very windy there and it's relaxing. There is a elevator there so people can go up in the peak of the cross, we went there, the air is different, it is very cool and cleaner you can feel the natural air of the nature, and it was relaxing. After that we head back down the feet of the mountain and went to see the museum and then after a couple of minutes staying at the museum, not it's finally time to head back where we belong, I mean, it's our last journey to go back home.

Though the outing is about to end, we still cherish our bonding together even we are on the car, every moment on our way back home is unforgettable, we made our time worthwhile.

With just one song and it made my day

Secret - Twinkle Twinkle

Thousand steps

It's been 5 years since the day that I remembered that All I just do in my everyday life is to watch Anime and Anime all over again. I remembered that it was a summer break after I graduated in high school, every day I am tuned in on either Animax or Hero TV, both are anime streaming channels and I just feel completely happy whenever I'm doing this. I miss doing it, I miss my somewhat childhood (the fact that I'm already around 15-16 years old that time) even though I know I'm still young, young but not child anymore. It is really true and obvious that we only got one shot of being a child so we must do everything that make it worth it, because the enjoyment that you felt during your childhood will never be the enjoyment that you will feel when you grow as an adult in the future. And this present time, things just get different, I believed that I already grow and learned a lot, though I still carry some of my traits during my childhood, like watching Anime, playing video games sounding like a child and looking not being serious most of the time. Yes it is different now, but I'm not saying it's not happy at all, let's just say that some thing just got serious, like now, I'm having a work and planning to walk the path of my chosen career and start building my dreams in life; start building and making it come true. I am still on the first step of building my dreams and I know I still need thousand steps to reach it but no matter how many steps should I take, as long as I know that I am in the right path, then I will get there someday, no matter what.

What path should I take?

I want to create my own career path but I don't know where to start, I even don't know exactly what I want to become, I said I want to be business owner someday, but I don't know what kind of business I am talking about, I want to become a manager or shall I say a team leader but where and in what organization?

I don't know if I need to find an opportunity to start my career path or I think it's more of building my own opportunity to start up my career path. But as of now, I need to know what I want, what I really want to do and to become and the moment I already knew what I am up to, then I think the door leading in the career I want will open on its own.

Acceptance

Acceptance is difficult, it's like carrying a huge rock with you, that a single person can't even lift it up. But I somehow manage to do it, but still it is heavy for me and I know anytime I could choose to give up, but as long as there is reason that giving me strength to hold on, then giving up is never a choice or an option.

List of things I want to achieve/to do in my life

1. Play video games that I want                                  - Done/ Still on going

2. Jam with a band and perform in stage                    - Done/ Still on going

3. Inspire people and my self                                     - Done/ Still on going

4. Let other people know that God is awesome         - Done/ Still on going

5. Finish studies (to graduate in college)                    - Done

6. Become a manager/team leader                            - Still on the journey

7. Have my own business                                         - when number 6 is done, I will start doing this.

8. Have my own family                                             - when number 7 is successful, I will do this.

9. Enjoy life.   - when all of the above things are done, I can say that I really enjoyed my life, though right now I know that I am enjoying my life and living my life to the fullest and I am contented with it.                                                                                                                         

If not today, then someday

Why did I choose to enter this kind of situation? I always have an option to take another route but I did pursue it. 

I've always been avoiding any uncertain situation ever since, and if ever I do, I make sure that I will go out on it no matter what. Now, I even don't want to think about it, but I am in somewhat uncertain situation, well not really an uncertain situation, or shall I say, not an uncertain situation in my part, but still I don't want to go out with this, because I know that someday this situation I am with will turn out to be okay and I'll just need to wait for it.

I am an ISTJ person

Because I was always curious of what kind of person I am, how I think and how act towards with others, I took a personality exam. I was an ISTJ person.

Introverted - generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations.

Sensing - tend to be more concrete than abstract. They focus their attention on the details rather than the big picture, and on immediate realities rather than future possibilities.

Thinking - tend to value objective criteria above personal preference. When making decisions, they generally give more weight to logic than to social considerations.

Judging - tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability.

So I was, "what was that?" Well it's because I really don't know what personality I have.  People say that it's hard to describe your own self and if you want to know your self, have it described by someone you are close with because they are the one who really knew you. But well, this is the result of what kind of person I am, I don't want to say I believe it because the fact that I really don't know, but, I'll just let you decide whether this test result is right or wrong.

A birthday gift

Birthday Gift

A gift for my birthday, from a special friend. This song really made me smile and smile even more when I heard the part where she sung "Nothing's gonna stop us." Thank you, Patricia Adrienne :)

If ever

I don't know why, but there is a feeling inside me saying that, I want to spend the rest of life with you in the future. I have a feeling that says, I can wait even how long it takes, for the day that I can say that you are mine and I'm yours finally. I know this is too early for me to think of or this is just a lame thought of mine. I know as time passes by, people change, things change, even feelings change and we can't control it. I always believe that all beginnings has its end and not doubt about it. No one can say what will happen on the next two, three or more days to come or even the years that yet to come. Not all plans are turned on the way we want it should be, there are a lot of surprises, a lot of things that you are not expecting but will come. But, I want that what I am feeling right now will remain unchanged even time will pass by, I want it to stay, I want this to remain forever. I don't want that this closeness we have right now will turn us into being stranger after a long while. I don't want to be just the one who stepped into you your life and will go out after sometime, I want to stay in your life. I would want to reach to the point, where we can be together, with no worries or any conflict, no problems nor any hindrances and other people that will suffer for the sake of our own happiness. I can't see or say what will happen in the future, but if ever time will allow us, I want to live my life with you.

I can wait forever, if you say you'll be there too.

I am single and happy

Just taking some break during office hours

A night to remember

Last night was a blast, because I was with  someone. At last, we finally met in person. She was not that small at all, her height was just perfect for me to hug her. It was an unexpected date, bonding, get together, meeting (or whatever you want to call it) with her. 

She texted me if we can meet up, and without any second thought, I replied her "yes." I was so excited, my heart is beating so fast, I  suddenly become conscious with my look because of the fact that this was really unexpected and I was not physically prepared at all. I almost went to the comfort room many times, arranging my hair and clothes. And it was finally dismissal time in our office, heavy traffic is on the way but it does not become a hindrance for our meeting. I arrived at the place where we should meet and then I saw her standing on a corner, there a girl, the girl I loved.

We should be going to Market Market but we ended up going the Bonifacio Highstreet instead. A beautiful and perfect place to hang out and to relieve stress. We sat on a somewhat bench there, we talk, share stories, do some joking and throwing some cheesy lines. It was real, the conversation, I am not reading it, I can already hear it with her voice, it was relaxing, I had a lot of fun.

But time is limited and we need to say good bye, we made our last minutes of being together worthwhile, we held hands, her hands was warm and I love holding it. I hugged her and she hugged me back, I felt her love, it was an unexplainable feeling. Then we finally say good bye to each other, the meeting was worth it and I know that this will not be the last time that we will be together.

Just some dates

March 27, 2012

It's was already late at night, my heart is somehow breaking, my whole self is filled with sadness when she said she's gonna avoid me. But the night didn't end just like that, with my heart is in burst, I confessed, I said that I'm falling for her that turned out her to also confessed that she is nearly falling for me.

March 31, 2012

Meeting was already done, my self is bothered, I am worried to her, deactivating her account for no reason. And then we came to the point where all the revelations must be revealed, I was shocked, I can't imagine, mixed emotion is all over my self and I don't know what to do, but in the end, the truth didn't let my feelings to fade away, I accepted her and the revelation didn't change a thing with us.

April 11, 2012

It was around 4 o'clock in the afternoon, tired and was so sleepy, with few aches nagging in my head, then I received a message, a message that brought me alive, we will meet, for the first time, at last, the long longing for her will now come to end. And then, finally, I met her, not virtually but for real. I hugged her, she hugged me back, we held hand, love was shown, love was felt and it's when the reality becomes more better than dreaming.

I've fallen and I'm loving it

I am happy for what I feel right now, even though I don't know where this feeling might go through, that this feeling might just go to nothing. I've fallen in love, to a girl whom to my eyes, I can see as a perfect person. 

I didn't know that I will come again to this point where I will learn to love again; And now it's here, it is here for me to hold on to. I love this girl, I find my self happy whenever I talk to her even it's just only through text messages, online chatting and sometimes a phone call. I misses her when we are not texting or chatting. I ended up thinking about her everyday. I want to hug her so that I can say that I am no longer dreaming and because reality is now much better than dreaming, I want to hug her so that she can feel my love I have for her. I want to see her, I want to see her smile, I want to say to her personally that I love her and to hear her saying back to me that she loves me as well.

Because of this feeling, because of her, I find that my life is not really boring at all. I've been inspired and now I've already broken out of my routine. I've fallen and I'm loving it.

Just a text and my heart smiled

These, the things I want to say to you

I feel sad for the reason that I don't even know. 

Is there someone I'm missing? 

Is there someone I want to talk to?

Is there someone I am longing for?

Or is there someone I always think about everyday? ...

I don't know if this feeling can be now called love and it's bit early to conclude. But I know and I'm sure, every time we're talking by any means, I feel happy. I care about you, I want you to be always happy as much as possible for most of the time, I want to hug you so tight so I can comfort you, because I know what you are experiencing right now is too tough for you to handle alone and that's the least I could do.

My heart breaks on that moment you said you are going to avoid the person you think you are falling to, the fact that I know that it is me that you are referring to. I am aware that you have just gone into a previous relationship and I am honestly somewhat afraid, that one day, you will go back with him and forget everything about me.

This is not my normal self, I don't usually care about people except from my family and friends, but you just got my whole attention.  Started with just one text message and now I'm longing for your messages, our non sense talks, sad conversation, all of the sudden laughter, phone conversation, our sweet talks and you, yourself.

I already came to the point, where falling stops, I mean, I'm already at the bottom where there is no ladder, stairs, rope or others things to go up. I think of you at the most random time, the moment I wake up in the morning,  thinking if you're alright, from the time I'm going to sleep at night wondering if you are already asleep. And the time I am doing this blog entry, 'til the time you are able to read this, I think of you.

These, the things I want to say to you...

Will I be a loser in the end?

I didn't know what happened, it's month away after I met a girl and now I'm falling. I fell in love for the reason that I don't even know. It just came here, I felt it and I my self can't help it, leaving me no choice but to accept and embrace this feeling that I haven't feel for a long time.

Too much for the introduction. I finally said it to her, the feeling that I'm hiding, that I'm falling for her. And the result is, everything went fine, we feel the same way with each other, I'm falling for her and she is also falling for me and nothing has changed, nothing has ruined, friendship remained and we are both happy for what we've learned.

We're chatting, texting and even do talking through phone calls, we share laughter, ideas, experiences, stories and even nonsense things. Everyday I fall for her, everyday, I'm learning to fall even deeper for her until I came to this thing that's bothering me, I know it's wrong for me to feel or think this because we are not into any relationship, but I just can't stop thinking on it. Am I doing the right thing, am I in the right track, will I be not the loser in the end?

She just broke up with her ex-boyfriend a month ago after we met and now it's already been two months have passed. I know she loves that boy that much but left her no choice but to leave him. It's been two months but I know the break-up is still fresh, that there is still a feeling left for him, because according to what she said to me, there is only one boy and relationship that she got serious to, and that was her previous relationship with her ex-boyfriend.I can't stop thinking that any moment, her feelings with that boy might come back leaving left behind.

Am I doing the right thing?

 Am I in the right track? 

Will I be a loser in the end?

And it's wrong for me to feel this way

"I know it can never be, more than friends, you and me, but why do I feel this way. Catch me, I'm falling for you and I don't know what to do."

Friendship that started with a text.

Just last two weeks, there is this one person who texted me, unknown number, no name appeared in my phone, saying "Hi kuya Nath." I was, "who the hell is this?" By the way, I'm always like this whenever an unknown number/person is texting me. But later on, that person said that she's the one from "Hokago Tea Time," the previous and last band I joined on the casual online game, Band Master.

We texted with each other, I registered to unlimited texting so the conversation will last long. We shared random thoughts, telling random stories and we even talked about nonsense things. We almost became close virtually, through Facebook chat and mobile texting. Well, I know in myself that I'm not used into this kind of things, I'm referring to texting, but it's just that whenever I talked/text/chat with her, I just feel happy, well for the reason is, I exactly don't know, but I guess, it's because I liked her.

Yes I like her. Just when we became friends on Facebook, honestly that time, I already liked her, because from what I feel and see, she is a simple and cute girl. I learned later on that she is also a straight forward girl, based on what I'm seeing on her posts on Facebook, she is directly posting on her ex-boyfriend's wall what she feels, especially when they have an argument with each other. And just recently, I listened to one of her covers, I know that she sings, but until I listened to her cover, I never knew that she sings very well, I almost fell in love with the voice, I even repeated her cover for several times.

And just now, I invited her if she can accompany on Thursday at Mall of Asia, I'll just need to buy a video game and so that we can meet with each other. Yes we still haven't meet each other in person, Well, she said that she already saw me, but from a long range view. But then, unfortunately, she can't come, but it's okay because I know there will always be a next time.

Lunch Box's First Win!

Same things are happening, nothing is happening

I can't really stay here for so long, I am dying mentally and psychologically here. With just same things happening every work days, nothing will really happen to me. I only do, nothing but nothing. Yes indeed, I;m doing nothing every weekdays, as if, it's like wasting all the time I spent in college in this rectangular

Wrong move

One of my greatest regret in my life is, having you as my girlfriend before.  I guess my emotion just carried me out on those days and the feeling is just not strong enough, it's just my imaginary feeling of loneliness that triggers it all. 

And I realized just now that, sorry for the harsh word, but your're not really worth of my time and effort and I guess my love as well. Just want to say this, and I don't want to bother and waste more time typing all the things about you, saying this as my main point is enough already.

Even as a Gamer

For that person who thinks that me, as a gamer, there's nothing more important thing than playing video games, you're absolutely wrong, I am saying to you, I know when to stop playing games and I know when is the right and wrong time to play the video games.  I stop playing when an important friend chatted or messaged me, especially those want to share problems or even some stuffs.  I know how to bond with my friends, if I am in the middle of extreme gaming and a friend calls for a hang out, I always go for it and I stop playing, besides, I can still continue after that.  I also stop playing video games when there is a family gathering, even simple and small ones.  Gatherings like, hanging out in the sala, singing or just chit-chatting.  So, for you who thinks that there is nothing more important to me than games, I proved you wrong, I guess it's just because of your experience with me is the reason why you have said that.  Remember that I only stop playing and pay attention if that person/people or thing is worth spending my time.

When time is not enough

What I currently need now is well, not more time but better time management to balance all the things I wanted to do because my work is eating almost 60% of my time every day.  My work starts at 8:30AM and ends up 5:30PM and I get home around 7:00pm to 7:30pm depending on the traffic, well traffic is one of the things I most hated, traffic is eating almost two hours of my time everyday and it sucks, and with that two hours I already can do a lot of things but it's just being wasted sitting in the corner of the jeepneys doing nothing but wait.

When I'm already at home, my only time remaining is three to four hours, starts at 8:00PM and ends up 11:00PM or 12:00AM.  With that period of time, the things I usually do is checking my facebook account and other social network account and playing video games and also I'm part of a band so I need to practice our lined up songs for at least 1 hour.

As you can see, I only have three or four hours of my time everyday and I hate it.  With like me, a person that want to do many things, this time period is really not enough. Life would be boring If all I will do is to work, go home and rest then work again and so on.

When it's boring

I honestly don't want to stay here anymore, well I'm talking to my current employer.  No task is given to me, but the boss said that I can do whatever I want, of course it must be in line with my job description and must got to do in making the products and the company better.  But then, I came to the point that I already given and suggested all the things in my mind that would make our products and company better and now I got nothing to do.  

I'm staying here for almost three months and 70% of my stay here is boring, I'm getting sick already because of the boredom, I remember the article that I read on the internet, It says there that feeling bored in the office will make you sick and yeah, like what I said, I think it's happening to me right now. I wish that my boss will give me work from time to time not only to kill this boredom but also for me, the gain more experience in the current field  where I am, or if that's impossible to happen, I just want to have courage again to resign and to look for another job, and I would wish that on my next work, there will be more task that will be assigned to me.  

People are great here, working environment is comfortable, the place is accessible but it's boring and I'm seriously suffering everyday.

My Virtual Playground

I'm looking forward to play this game this January, as a gift for both Christmas and New year for my self.