A Light in the middle of Darkness

I can't get over to the story of Aya Kito, the owner of the very inspiring diary/book, 1 Liter of Tears.  Every time I remember some scene on the drama series, my heart suddenly breaks for no reason.  I think it's just the fate that Aya experienced during that time.  It is extremely hard for her age to carry such cruel fate, but still she manages it no matter how heavy these things for her.  Only people with such courage can do that, and for Aya, she is one of them, a very strong person, because during her dark times she still manages to stand as a shining light to her family and other people that surrounds her.

Be strong. Live on, forever.

Original Book Cover of 1 Liter of Tears

Aya Kito (July 19, 1962 - May 23, 1988)

Aya Ikeuchi (Erika Sawajiri), from the drama series.

Live on.

-Aya Kito/Ikeuchi

1 Liter of tears is a Japanese drama series based from a true life story of a 15 year old girl who got an incurable disease known as spinocerebellar degeneration, that slowly looses one's capability to walk or stand firmly, hold things and the ability to speak that will cause in future to be bedridden/disabled.  The process is slow but surely to continue progressing.  1 Liter of tears is actually the title of the diary of Aya Kito, where in this diary stated her battle with the disease, her sufferings both emotional and physical pain.

Aya is a smart, cheerful and energetic girl.  Unfortunately, one day during her most enjoyable time of her life (high school life) suddenly the symptoms of her disease appeared.  The disease started to progress, in result, it became a hindrance to her to live her normal life.  Because of the disease her studies were affected  and as the disease progresses, she was unable to walk and stand properly that lead her to transfer to a school for disabled.

Day by day, her condition gets worst, every day that passed she becomes weaker.  But this things didn't stop her to live, she did not lose any hope, well in fact she became a shining light to her family, to her doctor, friends and other people surrounds her.  She really is great and strong person, after discovering about her disease and behind all of the events that happened to her, she was able to continue to live her life with a smile on her face.  Even in the end, she haven't given up all the hopes and decided to donate her own body to the medical experts to find cure for the disease and as well to fulfill her dream to help others, because with this she will able to help people in the future with the disease similar to her, for these people will not lose hope and may continue to live on.


Her story made me realized a very important lesson in life,  "In any problems that we have, we must continue to live on without any regrets and with smile in our face, looking forward for a new and bright tomorrow."  And time is very important, we can never revisit the past or turn back the time, so we must live our life the the fullest, every day, every hour and every minute.

If I were a flower, then now I'd be a bud.  I shall treasure the beginning of my youth without any regrets.


Mother, deep inside my heart I have a mother who always believes in me.  From now onward as well, please continue to look after me.  I'm sorry to have troubled you so much.


Why did this disease choose me? I cannot carry it, if it's just for the word "fate"


I want to build a time machine and revisit the past.
If it weren't for this disease, I might even be in love.
I want to cling to someone's arms so badly.


I really don't want to say things such as "I want to go back to how things were before."
I recognize how I am right now and I will continue to live on.


Therefor I definitely won't run away.  That's what I'll do.  Definitely, always.


Even if it's like that, I still want to stay here.  Because this is the place where I am.


If you look you up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitless and smiles at me.  I'm alive.


People shouldn't dwell on the past.  It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now.


Reality is too cruel, too brutal.  I don't even have the right to dream.  As I think about the future, the tears will come out again.


Would I be able to get married?


I write because writing is the evidence that I am still alive.

5 Centimeters Per Second

They say it's 5 centimeters per second. . . The speed at which cherry blossom petals fall.

Every minute felt like an eternity time, clearly as if it had malicious intent, slowly ebbing away from me. I clenched my teeth, and keeping myself from crying was the only thing I could do.

The things I had to tell her, the things I hoped she would listen to. . . There were so many of them

Tohno-Kun has always. . . been looking at something far beyond, far higher than me.

I could never give Tohno-kun that which he desires.  Even so, I'm sure that even when tomorrow comes, or the day after, or thereafter, I will still be helplessly in love with him.

It must really be a lonelier journey than anyone could imagine. Cutting through absolute darkness, encountering nothing but the occasional hydrogen atom. Flying blindly into the abyss, believing therein lie the answers to the mysteries of the universe.

Yesterday, I had a dream. . . A dream I have had since long ago. In that dream, we had yet to turn 13. We were in a vast countryside, completely covered with snow. The lights of the houses extended far into the distance, a dazzling sight. We walked on the thick caprpet of fresh snow, but did not leave any footprints. And like that, "Someday we will be able to watch the cherry blossoms together again".