A status that made my day :)

A day full of adventure and sweetness

It's a day full of adventure and sweetness. It was not on the plan, we just want to hang out right after our work and then after, go home and rest. But it doesn't look like it turned out like that because we still don't want to let go of each other yet. 

I was on the meeting and thought that it will be finished by around right after lunch by 12:00 noon or by 1:00 pm, but it was extended up to 2:30 pm, well as for a company meeting, it's normal. But the matter is, there is someone waiting for me, I need to get where my girlfriend was, because she's waiting me there from 11:00pm on wards, a couple of hours of waiting. I feel guilty about it, I say sorry but she said that, it's okay and everything is fine, that she is not mad or something.

So the hang out began. Of course, sharing stories with each other, walk together while talking, teasing each other and when being teased will end up hugging. It was on SM Sucat, but she want to go somewhere else, so we decided to go to Festival Mall instead. Of course, when we get there we still do what we've done on SM, but first we had our merienda-dinner meal. Again, talk, walk, tease and laugh, making every minutes and seconds worth because time is limited and parting time is nearly there.

It's already time to say good bye speeches but an idea was put up. I said that I'm going with her, I'm going to accompany her home, but she didn't let me because she said that it was hassle for me and it's far from my place and so on and so on. But I ask something, if her best friend's place was really near from their home and said let's go and visit her. Excitement was build and without second thought, she said yes and then we went there.

When we got there, her best friend was not yet home. We waited for an hour but still not yet home. We just decided to go where she was, we'll just visit her there. But again, when got there, a guy told that she already left there about a couple of hours ago. We call her best friend and she said that she already got home and decided to just go back at their place. But before we went there, an unexpected thing happened, we are talking about something but I'm facing in the opposite direction but when I'm about to face her, her face was coming close to me, her lips coming close to my lips, and then we kissed, but not for a short time that we usually do.

It looks like nothing happened after, but deep inside me, I was so, well it was an unexplainable feeling but it feels good, honestly. And going back, we went back to her best friend's place and at last she was there. We stayed there for about 30 minutes, do some talking and other things. And after that, it's really need to say good bye.

The day was really worth it, no hours, minutes or even seconds was wasted, my time is really worth it whenever I'm with her. I love being with her, If we can just be together every time but we know that there is always limitation but still we're really happy that even though our schedule was conflict with each other, we are able to give time being together.

Making my heart smile, every time

There are some things that I can't say directly, I'm too shy to say or it's bit too early to say. In my mind, sometimes, I'm having thoughts of spending my life with her, I can't really deny the fact that I used to imagine my self sitting beside her smiling and laughing together on a place called home. I just can't help thinking about these things, being with her today, tomorrow and in the future.

I always hold on to these thoughts, that if we can't be together in present, then there is still future. I understand that we can't be together every time and I'm fine with it. Every time we are spending time together, it's all worth it, not even a single second when we are together are being put into waste, I just love being with her.

She is a very special and important person to me, a friend, a best friend, my lover. I want to be her strength to her weaknesses, the one who will cheer her up when she's down, the one will erase the sadness in her face. Without doing anything, with just thinking about you you are making smile, you made my heart smile, every time.

I should be sleeping but...

I should be sleeping right now, but I just can't sleep. Why? Well the main reason is I'm thinking of a certain person and the times being with her, to cut the story short, I'm reminiscing. I already feel sleepy but I just miss my girlfriend that put me into reminiscing the time I am with her that hinders me from sleeping and the result is here I am, in front on PC doing this blog.

Hey my beloved girlfriend, if you happen to read this post, please don't blame your self for the reason of I can't sleep because of you, I love this feeling and it's okay if this hinders me from sleeping, anyway, I love you so much :)

Am I just overreacting?

Upper back pain together with chest pain plus difficulty in breathing, I really couldn't manage to walk any next steps again but I need to. I was so scared, I really thought of dying, I don't know what to do. When I arrived home, I just greet my parents and went to my room directly, Mom followed me in my room, asking me if I'm okay and what happened. "Mom, my back hurts, it's really hard to breathe, it's hard to stand, please can you give me a bottle of water." From that time, I really don't want to sleep because I think, I'm breathing because in my mind, I'm saying to breath, so if my mind went to sleep, I might couldn't breathe anymore. I don't know if I'm just over reacting or whatever, but I was really scared because, my mind is set to "I'm dying."

I can't explain what I really feel that time, but I was really scared, I don't want to die yet, I don't want to leave my parents, friends and especially my girlfriend. I think this was cause by anxiety and stress and most probably will be back in my rhythm after a couple of days and weeks

As soon as I'm already capable

The more I think that I don't want to stay on this organization anymore is the more I'm being hype on starting my own income generator or shall I say business. I swear that I won't be an employee forever or a manager or team leader who is under a person called boss. I want to be a boss of my own business. It's not that I don't want to work on a certain organization at all, but for a person like me who value life, balance for both work and life is very important to me. Well actually, life is more important to me than work, but how will I live if I will not work, ironic isn't it? But it's a fact. That's why I want to own and start my own business as soon as I can. By having this, I can control my time and have more time on my personal life while less thinking of how will I live or support my needs. Having a business is yes, stressful at first, but later on if it succeeds, you will succeed as well. It's convenient, because while you're having a business you can still find some part time jobs for extra income and that would make you enough bucks to buy not only your needs but also your wants. During college, my course thought me and inspires me to do this thing, with the knowledge I learn from college, I'll need to apply it on this. I'm not planning to have a big business, I don't want to complicate my life on creating big organization, it will give me more money but it will also give me stress, problems, enemy, and will leave me "having no life person," and I don't want that to happen, I just want a right size business that will give me enough funds to support my living in the future.

Random thoughts

There are times that I used to think of going on a journey to learn more and to gain more knowledge on this world. There are some mysteries I want to learn more about, there are questions in my mind that I myself is seeking for an answer. Some things that I never experienced but I want to experience and try out. My mind is sometimes full of questions of mysteries on this world and universe. My mind is so random, I sometimes thought of games, boys, girls, good things, bad things, science, religion, God and many other things, but all of them ended up in one question, how did it begin? Where is the source of all this? The origin? Why and Where? And now I ended up on this conclusion, that there are really things and question that the answer doesn't exist, things that no one knows why and where was originated and would be better to just leave behind and leave as it is, because as I seek more on this things, the more they are going far with me. They are made to confuse us. I'll be just wasting my time if I over think about things like this and might forget that there are other things in life that I should care for and just like I said, it's better to just leave them behind because I know, these thing are here for certain reason, and the reason is not for us to know about.

Biggest turn off

I really don't like girls who drink alcohol more than than their father, smoke cigarettes like there is no tomorrow or speak bad words just like it's already been natural for their everyday conversation. I don't know but sometimes, when I got to have a crush with a girl and suddenly found out that she got the traits I've described above, the crush feeling I feel for her will suddenly, without any second thought fades and end up forgetting about her. It's just like what happened to my latest ex girlfriend, yes I can say that I really love her, but suddenly, those traits above just began to come out, I didn't know that she drinks alcohol that much and she can say bad words that rudely. Beating out my defenseless friend with her sharp tongue, tripping out other people even though she don't know, and being rude with my buddies and mates. I don't know if she's aware of it but those traits were enough reasons for my love to fade. I don't want to sound bitter but I just choose to discuss my past experience as an example for the topic of this post.

At times like this

There are really times when you really miss someone that much that you feel like you're going to explode because of that extreme feeling. Like what's happening right now, I'm extremely missing my girlfriend, yes really that much, superlative isn't? But yes, I wanna see her, hold her tight and never let go. Talk to her, tease her that will end up hugging each other. I want to feel her skin against mine, her warm embrace, hold hands with each other until our hands get sweat.

The feeling when we used to hug each, my head over her forehead and then end up kissing her forehead and will say I love you. There is silence between us, letting our feelings to clamor, expressing it through actions. The stare I give to you with thoughts in mind saying, you are mine, only mine. The happiness I feel when you are beside me, when we are together. The feeling in my heart that even words can't explain when I'm thinking of you. All of these feelings are real, I feel it and it's so right.