To see people's happiness

I feel great even just helping other people build their own happiness, I feel honored even just making feel someone honorable, especially the one you like. I'm happy to know, I made a great thing, seeing people's smiles and laughter, expressing their own happiness.

Relaxing midnight

I miss my early college life, where I used to spend my time in socializing through internet, staying awake late midnight to play games and to chat with my online friends.  This is when the social networking site Friendster is on its peak.  Making Testomonials and Comments like a chat box, meeting total strangers and after some time became your best of friends, and guess what, who do you think will forget about this creating banner design like, "Thanks for the add."  

Honestly, this is the second best part of my life next to being a high school student, I used to socialize with people whom I don't know but, who cares, we share same interest and I'm comfortable even just chatting with them. I can clearly remember the relaxing feeling every midnight, browsing your profile in Friendster plus a relaxing anime music and plus a bunch of comments and testimonials pending to be replied.

I really like Friendster, a lot than Facebook, honestly.  Yes, it is actually true that Facebook is far greater than Friendster, but again, who cares, it's more comfortable for me to use Friendster because with that, I made some friends, from online friends to becoming real life friends.

If can just revisit the past, I will probably choose that time of my life as one of my destination, and if ever, I will visit it from time to time.  But time changes and we can't turn back the time, we just need to look forward for a new and brighter tomorrow.

Unexpected Encounter

We are heading to the comfort room in Level Up! Live 2011 held at World Trade Center when I saw these people in group cosplay, cosplaying the different characters from Ragnarok Online, I was staring each one of them, each characters, until my eyes turned to this specific character, a girl in cosplay of, I'm not sure what character it is because I'm not a player of Ragnarok Online, but I think it is a Rune Knight.  An ordinary girl but she really caught my attention specially when she smiled.  And up until I got home, I've been thinking of this girl, even though I just saw her in just a couple of minutes.  Well, I'm hoping to see her again, but as far as know I'm hoping for a very impossible thing, really impossible but this unexpected encounter made my day a great day.

A Light in the middle of Darkness

I can't get over to the story of Aya Kito, the owner of the very inspiring diary/book, 1 Liter of Tears.  Every time I remember some scene on the drama series, my heart suddenly breaks for no reason.  I think it's just the fate that Aya experienced during that time.  It is extremely hard for her age to carry such cruel fate, but still she manages it no matter how heavy these things for her.  Only people with such courage can do that, and for Aya, she is one of them, a very strong person, because during her dark times she still manages to stand as a shining light to her family and other people that surrounds her.

Be strong. Live on, forever.

Original Book Cover of 1 Liter of Tears

Aya Kito (July 19, 1962 - May 23, 1988)

Aya Ikeuchi (Erika Sawajiri), from the drama series.

Live on.

-Aya Kito/Ikeuchi

1 Liter of tears is a Japanese drama series based from a true life story of a 15 year old girl who got an incurable disease known as spinocerebellar degeneration, that slowly looses one's capability to walk or stand firmly, hold things and the ability to speak that will cause in future to be bedridden/disabled.  The process is slow but surely to continue progressing.  1 Liter of tears is actually the title of the diary of Aya Kito, where in this diary stated her battle with the disease, her sufferings both emotional and physical pain.

Aya is a smart, cheerful and energetic girl.  Unfortunately, one day during her most enjoyable time of her life (high school life) suddenly the symptoms of her disease appeared.  The disease started to progress, in result, it became a hindrance to her to live her normal life.  Because of the disease her studies were affected  and as the disease progresses, she was unable to walk and stand properly that lead her to transfer to a school for disabled.

Day by day, her condition gets worst, every day that passed she becomes weaker.  But this things didn't stop her to live, she did not lose any hope, well in fact she became a shining light to her family, to her doctor, friends and other people surrounds her.  She really is great and strong person, after discovering about her disease and behind all of the events that happened to her, she was able to continue to live her life with a smile on her face.  Even in the end, she haven't given up all the hopes and decided to donate her own body to the medical experts to find cure for the disease and as well to fulfill her dream to help others, because with this she will able to help people in the future with the disease similar to her, for these people will not lose hope and may continue to live on.


Her story made me realized a very important lesson in life,  "In any problems that we have, we must continue to live on without any regrets and with smile in our face, looking forward for a new and bright tomorrow."  And time is very important, we can never revisit the past or turn back the time, so we must live our life the the fullest, every day, every hour and every minute.

If I were a flower, then now I'd be a bud.  I shall treasure the beginning of my youth without any regrets.


Mother, deep inside my heart I have a mother who always believes in me.  From now onward as well, please continue to look after me.  I'm sorry to have troubled you so much.


Why did this disease choose me? I cannot carry it, if it's just for the word "fate"


I want to build a time machine and revisit the past.
If it weren't for this disease, I might even be in love.
I want to cling to someone's arms so badly.


I really don't want to say things such as "I want to go back to how things were before."
I recognize how I am right now and I will continue to live on.


Therefor I definitely won't run away.  That's what I'll do.  Definitely, always.


Even if it's like that, I still want to stay here.  Because this is the place where I am.


If you look you up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitless and smiles at me.  I'm alive.


People shouldn't dwell on the past.  It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now.


Reality is too cruel, too brutal.  I don't even have the right to dream.  As I think about the future, the tears will come out again.


Would I be able to get married?


I write because writing is the evidence that I am still alive.

5 Centimeters Per Second

They say it's 5 centimeters per second. . . The speed at which cherry blossom petals fall.

Every minute felt like an eternity time, clearly as if it had malicious intent, slowly ebbing away from me. I clenched my teeth, and keeping myself from crying was the only thing I could do.

The things I had to tell her, the things I hoped she would listen to. . . There were so many of them

Tohno-Kun has always. . . been looking at something far beyond, far higher than me.

I could never give Tohno-kun that which he desires.  Even so, I'm sure that even when tomorrow comes, or the day after, or thereafter, I will still be helplessly in love with him.

It must really be a lonelier journey than anyone could imagine. Cutting through absolute darkness, encountering nothing but the occasional hydrogen atom. Flying blindly into the abyss, believing therein lie the answers to the mysteries of the universe.

Yesterday, I had a dream. . . A dream I have had since long ago. In that dream, we had yet to turn 13. We were in a vast countryside, completely covered with snow. The lights of the houses extended far into the distance, a dazzling sight. We walked on the thick caprpet of fresh snow, but did not leave any footprints. And like that, "Someday we will be able to watch the cherry blossoms together again".

Saving one's self

I just resigned on my first job as an Assistant Arts and Display at Supervalue Inc., and the reason for leaving? Well, it's just the people, basically the whole working environment.  Feeling unwelcome there and somewhat felt someone wants to drag me down.  I am expecting personal growth, friends and extra training to have a better career advancement.  But where are they? Friends and extra training, without those how can I have a personal growth and career advancement.  Giving me tasks using a software where I have a total zero knowledge about it results failure and rejection, and the most worst of all, will result ghastly performance.  Training where are you? Training I need you!  That's why I decided to just resign.  Sounds like I quit but really not at all, I call it "saving my self" rather than quitting.  I really can't stay there, I want but I can't.  I really feel uneasy there and it is somehow killing me psychologically.  But I can say that the company is good and is a good place to start off a job or maybe career, I somehow felt a heart breaking when I left the company because of those HR staffs there, they are really kind, nice, friendly and approachable, especially the one who hired me, that HR staff is the one I used to talked with about my situation in my department and the one who gave me advice and recommendations.  And my unforgettable experience there, is when that HR staff said "Nathan, good luck ah!"  With those simple words being said, I left the building, wearing a smile on my face.

A friend

I am, right now listening to a sad song, well I really don't know if this is really a sad song, because I can't understand it, it's a Korean song by the way.  But it has somehow have a sad tune that makes me think it's a sad song.  And also, right now, I'm thinking of our dog, Sara, that has died several days ago, I'm reminiscing all the memories that I have spent with her during the first time she brought home 'til the last time I had a glimpse on her.  I love Sara very much, she is our first dog that stayed for us for so many years and with that such long period we have come to love her more and more.  I love the way how she plays on me whenever I sit on a chair beside or near to her, the way how she push me when I sit in front of her, the gesture when she is starting to get sleepy, the way she lick her body, the way she scratch her ears, the way when we call her and she just snob us, (she is just like a human) she, when freezing because of the cold weather, the way how she sleep, the way she lay down to an area where there is a sunlight to make her body warm.  I also remember the times when we try to open our screen door, but it won't open because she is sleeping and blocking it.  Her, being a playful dog when she is still young and becomes total opposite of it when she grew older.  She behaves well, she only barks to a total stranger to us, she won't bark to our friends and neighbors.  She is just lovely and cute the way she is even she is sometimes annoying, I missed her, all of her.  I know, she also had a great time with us even though she is being scolded sometimes.  I regret that I am not able to play with her and see her for the last time before she died, but she will definitely be loved and remembered always, and I know she is with God right now and God is now taking care of her.  Bye and Thank you, Sara :)

49 days

Today is the day I've finished my 49 days, I mean, this is the day that I've finished watching the Korean drama series "49 days."  I've enjoy watching this, honestly, I extremely enjoyed and loved this series.  It has a unique plot, tear jerking scenes, and unexpected twists.  I've never watched this kind of series before, this is almost a perfect drama for me and if I would have to rate this, I will rate this as 11/10.

49 days was aired in Philippine channel (ABS-CBN) as a prime time TV show and that's the reason why I've discover this series.  When I saw the commercial of the series, I already have an idea that it a good series to watch, but it didn't make a big impact for me, I wasn't really excited to watch it and has no plan of watching and finishing it though.  But one day, while waiting for my scheduled interview for a job application, I've met a friend and we've talk for while, while waiting for the interview, and it suddenly went to sharing this series to me.  She told positive and nice comments about the series, and she even told that she has a sleepless nights just to be able to finish the series.  And because of that conversation we had and to my curiosity as well, I've tried to watched one of its episode on TV, I've like it and I began to watch it online, and later on, loved it.  I have a lot of tear jerking moments while watching this series and believe me, this is not an ordinary drama.  If I would give comment for the series, I would only give a word for it, "it's a masterpiece."

PS: Stop reading this blog entry, close this tab and go, start watching it!! :D